I've got a proposition for you...

So this weekend, my girlfriend and I flew to upstate New York for a wedding just outside of Ithaca. It was amazing... from the lake side cabins we were staying in, to the bonfires, to the booze, to the people, to the view, to the five story tree house that sat beside a gorge, a creek flowing down its center. It was perfect... all the way down to the hand tied bows on the chairs at the wedding reception.

I remember drunkenly walking around one of the evenings, looking around at all the family and friends gathered outside the lake house, the bonfire reaching into the night sky, and thinking... "Man, this is right out of a movie." It felt that way. It was comfortable. It was exciting. It was fresh... and it felt really fucking good to be out of Los Angeles for a few days.

Regardless though, the few days we had there passed far too fast... the mass amounts of wine we drank on our day long upstate winery tour now only a distant memory... and for some, perhaps still a tinge of a hangover head ache. For the folks from England, (whom my girlfriend and I are now proud to call friends, and even more excited that now we have people to hang out with when we go to Europe) I know it was an experience unmatched by other trips they've had, for they had the opportunity to partake in a legitimate American pastime... Kegs with accompanying red keg cups and moonshine. Man was that stuff awesome!

It might be my ignorance in thinking that parties and kegs go hand in hand, but this weekend I found that that was not the case. Many of my new friends had only seen the keg and red keg cup action during party scenes in films... and when the realization hit them that they were actually a part of something they've only seen in American cinema.. it was all over. LET THE PARTY BEGIN! And when my buddy Dave and I managed to grab a mason jar of moonshine from the local liquor store... the game was over. Within seconds the moonshine was being passed around like mad, hitting the lips and creating smiles on everyone who partook... save the few who when taking a drink gagged and almost threw-up... but none-the-less, the experience I had with these guys and gals from England was eye opening. I had a great time and I hop to be able to do it again very soon.

Prior to heading to Ithaca though, we had planned to meet with my girlfriends family on our way back to Los Angeles since we had a three hour layover at JFK. Which leads me to why my entry is titled, "I've got a proposition for you..." So, after some heartfelt goodbyes, and a mad dash to Syracuse to get to our puddle jumper plane that we were about ten minutes away from missing, we got to JFK. Here we were picked up my my girlfriend's mom and step-father and driven a very short distance to a small Italian restaurant in Brooklyn called Matteos... which some of you may or may not know was owned and operated by the Gotti family back in the notorious family's hay day.

So we arrive, meeting one of my girlfriend's brother's, her sister-in-law and nephews at the restaurant. Entering, we are seated at a large corner table. Before sitting though, I am pulled to the side by my girlfriend's brother who leans in and says:

BROTHER
I've got a proposition for you... a proposed trade... Something I think we can both be satisfied with in regards to the outcome.

Now, I'm standing there, kind of like... "What's he talking about?"... as my girlfriend is chasing her two nephews around the restaurant, who are now screaming and laughing crazily at the sight of their Auntie D. I don't know what to say... is he coming to me with some shady business deal in the Gotti's restaurant? Did I just get myself involved in a mob family? If I say no is he going to take me down into the basements secret room and beat the living crap out of me until I say yes to whatever deal or trade he wants to propose...? Crap... I need to get the F out of her if that's the case... so I say...

ME
Okay...

Her brother looks at me. Eyeing my every move, my look, my demeanor... then, with a smile, says...

BROTHER
I want to trade you Frank Gore and one of my other receivers for Brandon Marshall.

WHAT? I'm confused... I thought I was being propositioned in John Gotti's restaurant to whack someone, or embezzle money from the Teamsters or some rival mob boss?! That wasn't the case at all. It was only a trade proposition for our fantasy football league... phew! That's good. I really didn't want to have to kill anyone... or be killed for saying no.

Needless to say, we sat down for dinner and discussed the proposed trade, ultimately coming to an agreement that yes, this proposition does indeed work for both of us...

After an Italian style feast, in which I left the restaurant feeling like I was going to puke, we said our goodbyes and were driven back to the airport. And after six hours of listening the the fat guy in front of us snoring, we landed back in Los Angeles safe and sound.

It was a great weekend. Let's do it again... maybe next time I will be propositioned by the mob... you never know.

PLEASE NOTE THAT CREATIVE LICENSE WAS USED IN THIS ENTRY, BUT MOST OF IT IS COMPLETELY TRUE...